Anna shares her poem with us.
I live in Hertfordshire where I work, write and look after my husband and two teenage children.
My career background is special event management and PR support, but I have been working as a part-time administrator in a primary school for the past few years which accommodates family life better and gives me a few extra precious hours to write creatively. My inspiration comes from many aspects of life, love, people and observations and from live music and the culture that surrounds it (I am lucky enough to enjoy the close proximity of the London live music scene).
I heard mysterious whisperings as a child about “the change” and it is almost like that still today. It shouldn’t be a secret.
I wrote ’51’ quite recently when I decided to write a travel themed poem. This decision coincided with some of my work colleagues mentioning menopause now and then. A friend of mine had also declared over coffee that she was “definitely menopausal.” Despite the subject being raised however, the discussion was more a mutterance than an open, frank conversation and in it I did sense shame or embarrassment, despair and the feeling that it brought uninvited burdens on everyday life and well-being such as depression and physical changes with subsequent repercussions on relationships. “Don’t get your coil removed, it’ll just bring it all on.” was a serious warning from one colleague who suffers terrible night sweats and headaches due to menopause. Whether or not removing the coil would ‘bring it on’ is another thing, but I know that menopause is inevitable and the surprises it will have in store for me only fills me with dread.
It seems to me that menopause needs to be less taboo. I heard mysterious whisperings as a child about “the change” and it is almost like that still today. It shouldn’t be a secret. Women, girls and transgender people, should feel able to talk freely about it to share experiences, learn more and gain support from each other, their partners at home, in the workplace and be free from what currently appears to be dealt with as an isolating condition and a desperate one in some cases. Although the title of the poem, ’51’ reflects the age at which most of us will be experiencing menopause, I am aware that much younger people suffer the symptoms sooner in their lives, and more support within society is needed to remove the silence that surrounds it.
So, in the case of writing a poem with a travelling theme, I decided that menopause is a journey in itself, and sadly, a solitary one too. Positively, I wanted the poem to suggest that we are strong and that we can come through difficult journeys like this and that some of our best years could, should, be ahead of us.
“51”
Don’t look down for too long
Keep to the path and away from the edge
Avoid the cracks
And basking adders
By then it will all be over
Won’t it?
Everything will have come to a halt
I’m sure
By the time I’ve covered the mile
Confided in larks
And headland winds
The change stalking me
Will confirm
She’s only a temporary guest
Tendering dizzy spells
Peppery skin
A wretched spirit
Minor modifications
When I’ve covered the mile
Hitched my leg over the stile
And read the note that says
She’s eloped with the old me
I’ll be a new woman
Wiser again
More beautiful than
The fat flourish of girlhood
The most pregnant state of motherhood
I’ll not be a walking shell
But fine
In command
Of perfect mind.
Don’t look down for too long
Keep to the path and away from the edge
Avoid the cracks
And basking adders
Keep your feet on the path, moving on