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Foggy Brain and Me

Foggy brain can be a regular in our lives once we hit or start approaching menopause. Some of us refer to it as menopause brain and can easily identify with what it feels like.

Menopause Brain and ME

Has anyone seen my glasses? Crap. I know they couldn’t just up and walk away. Glasses can’t walk, right? Of course, they can’t, but I think my vacuum cleaner can. Besides which my glasses were expensive.

Tragically, I looked bad in every single pair except the $400 frames. I call them my “no more vacation” glasses. So now I can’t see and the trip to London is off. Yes, I looked in the washing machine AND dryer, no glasses but I did find a blue hat that wasn’t mine. Nope, not in the dishwasher which I should unload soon anyway. Hey, they were dirty so that was a reasonable option. I ripped apart the couch which I don’t advise unless your dog is the same color.  And does anyone know where I stashed the vacuum cleaner? I haven’t used the oven in 6 months but after my usual two glasses of wine, it is logical.

My purse? Of course, of course! I ravaged it at least four times and vowed to never again buy one with so many compartments. They didn’t turn up in the box with my new darling Kate Spade high heels, but it did make me long for a place to wear them and wonder why I bought them. The refrigerator was a bust, but I am in desperate need of food. No wonder I’m always hungry. The garbage almost made sense but yuk.

“Has anyone seen my glasses? Crap.”

Under the bed, behind the bed, nope and nope. I promised, however, to vacuum before the week was up. A lightbulb went off! They were in a pocket. Yes, yes, yes… I was crazed and having a hot flush when I concluded I had too many, or can you never have enough? Why was the dog staring at me in my wild search? He ate them as after all there’s no homework with my son out of the house.

The car, they absolutely had to be in the car because I need them to drive. Glove compartment, trunk, under the driver’s seat, passenger seat, in the cushions, cup holders, nothing resembling glasses but I wondered if the Snickers bar wedged in the back was still edible. I am almost certain the sticky candy cane in the cup holder wasn’t. A friend of mine was at the airport and said he’d look but I hadn’t been there in six months and it reminded me of the vacation I wouldn’t be taking.

Was this it? The moment that middle age and menopause caught up with me?  I never found my glasses but came to the crazy realization that is this my new “normal.”

By Gail Forrest