We spoke to estate agent Kelly, 40, married with two children aged 22 and 16.
I have always had an old head but always lived with the view you only live once…
…so people that know me will confirm I was the one happy to party lots and was always very easy going just living life. Approx. 4 years ago aged 36 whilst in Ibiza I flew in to a rage from nowhere on an afternoon stroll with my family and witnesses all round (which I did not give two hoots about). I felt I could quite easily have a had punch up with someone much to the embarrassment of my partner, daughter and her friend we had brought on holiday with us.
The anger was awful and this started to happen on more occasions whether it be in the car en route to work or in a supermarket, trying on clothes. I could go on. I thought it must be the typical ‘time of the month’ tension but definitely this was more often and certainly more severe. Over the course of the following months, I started to notice my hair/skin looking the worst it had ever been. I had no glow and actually felt rather unwell in myself. Working a 50 hour week I thought that I must have been run down.
I sat in the car at work one day and broke down.
Then the memory loss kicked in and this actually affected me terribly as well as causing arguments at home with my husband and teenage children as I would swear ‘you never said that’ or ‘you never mentioned that’. I would go to the GP to be told it is usually just everyday life and stress causing you to feel overwhelmed with it all, just try to relax (yeah right). As time passed, I was getting worse with more symptoms starting to appear such as anxiety, restless sleep, night sweats, feeling down and losing confidence in myself, tired beyond anything I had known and so on.
I sat in the car at work one day and broke down. I need help I said to my Mum and husband as I felt I could not take it anymore. I was put on anti-depressants and referred for tests after a fertility booster failed to work. The result: Perimenopause. Now at the grand age of 40 I have started HRT patches, take fluoxetine and sleeping tablets and still suffer from night sweats (this is a passion killer to say the least) and multi-vitamins. I get the feeling that it’s not over yet, not by a long shot! I now have the joys of my thyroid playing up for which I have to take tablets for life and also hearing I am in the early part of osteopenia which is not great.
I feel like I lost myself and became a person I would never have wished to be.
To sum it up I could have lost my job, separated from my partner and quite easily have ended up with a problem drinking to have a feeling of fun back and block out the feeling this menopause brings with it. My two children have seen me disappear from the mum I once was and have seen me really struggle at times. It has been a life changer and I cannot wait until the day when I’m done with it all to be honest. I feel like I lost myself and became a person I would never have wished to be. There is no support/awareness of this out there but this seems to have recently changed. Thank you Meg Mathews for starting to show it is OK and something no female is getting away from no matter who you are.
If there is any way I can raise this topic with someone going through the early stages of this I would love to. On the flip side I would also love to know how to get on from feeling like I do. To all those close to me I am truly sorry they have gone through it with me and thankful for the patience and support. I am in a better place but after the weight gain etc I am still also a way off but intend to do the best I can to feel human and like a woman again.