Guest Post by therapist Hilary Lewin
Menopause is not the main event, yet it is the word we all have been taught to fear and dread.
The time to pay attention is peri-menopause: this is when some of the symptoms might really kick in, feelings can run amok and life can seem testing. Menopause is the fabulous prize you get for the hard work and cursing you may have done in the Peri years. Menopause is the gentle landing in a place of calm and beauty, menopause is arriving at sea level after a crazy journey across deserts, through the mountains and crashing waterfalls. Menopause is ultimately a sense of calm, a renewal of energy. I love menopause and I am all about sharing the love.
Every woman will have her own experience of peri/menopause just like when we started our bleeding…
In a physiological picture our wombs shrink as we approach menopause and that combined with erratic hormones as they drift towards sea level is what creates the perfect storm. It’s this ‘perfect storm’ that gets all the attention, after all it makes more exciting and dramatic reading than ‘yeah, I don’t bleed any more and it’s cool.’ Every woman will have her own experience of peri/menopause just like when we started our bleeding and just like each woman will have her own experience of childbirth if she has children.
A womb shrinking is a womb working and she is going to let you know all about it. Every woman will have her own story and for many of us it’s a story worth telling. Because, as our womb shrinks, we can grow. This is a time to maybe just throw all your toys overboard and hold onto only what you love best. It is an opportunity to spring clean ourselves inside and out and quite frankly ‘it ain’t always pretty’ and some times there might even be collateral damage. After years of maybe being one of the ‘good girls’ things start changing in peri menopause you may even become a ‘difficult’ woman. I hope so as this is a time to take life and make it all about you.
Yes, IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU.
As we slide into our mid 40s the first hints will start to appear; this may be long before a Dr will tell you any thing is going on. In fact blood tests and medical professionals will often tell you there is nothing going on which only compounds the confusion because you know you feel different. You know something is changing.
Our 40s can be a time when we take a long look at our lives, our work, our relationships and start to make changes. These changes may be well thought out and planned but they can also be chaotic and crazy, maybe you feel like you are going mad or worse are just plain bad. Good, because if this is the case your womb is starting to shout loud enough for you to hear. The big ‘change’ is on the horizon and you can be the one that brings this baby into shore.
It’s time to retreat and find out what we need to heal, what can be let go of and what is going to fire our lives for this next and most brilliant act.
As an Arvigo® Therapist I often talk about ‘thinking with your head, heart AND womb.’ This was a phrase coined by a student in class one year and it has become a mini mantra to me. ‘What do I need, what does my womb want?’ These are questions we can ask ourselves multiple times a day, often my answer will be elasticated tracky bottoms and a nice cup of tea but even when peri/menopausal it can still be tight trousers, a fancy top and a night out dancing.
As we reach peri/menopause after a life of doing what others think we ought, serving others before our selves, listening and of course learning, its time to put our selves first. It’s time to retreat and find out what we need to heal, what can be let go of and what is going to fire our lives for this next and most brilliant act. Our womb shrinks as we reach menopause, shrinking and hardening. Stop for a moment and think – how do diamonds get made? They are forged through immense pressure and heat. Perimenopause can certainly create immense heat and pressure is generally in the mix some where.
Maybe our wombs are turning into shining diamonds and maybe we just have to dig a little to discover ours. Find your own inner diamond, make it shine and let that be the brilliance that fuels your own ‘Brilliant, Bloodless, Revolution’