Jenny Sealey is artistic director and CEO of Graeae, a company producing groundbreaking theatre from world-class deaf and disabled actors. One autumn evening, she invited a group of friends over for a chat. The result is a declaration of rights on menopause and more
My menopause kicked in, or maybe kicked off, weeks after the euphoria of seeing the opening ceremony of the London 2012 Paralympic Games (which I co-directed), the breakdown of my 24-year relationship, and my son leaving home to go to film school. I didn’t talk about my relationship crisis for six months as I felt unbelievably out of control. All rationale left me. I was sweating, forgetting, remembering, and crying like I have never cried before.
Of course one cries when 24 years of what was mostly a wonderful time is left in tatters, but overall something else was happening to me: my menopause – and indeed it was a pause of men and a re-examination of self and, for the following five years, I shifted the complexities of it all into my work.
Midlife is as weird as it is wonderful. Weird because you start to realise that you have more of your life behind you than you have in front of you, and this feeds into an urgency, wanting to ensure that the fight for true equality is won. It is wonderful because, although I look with some envy at the glorious young womxn who are making their mark, I feel assured that I have a few pearls of wisdom to share and that I am still part of, and belong to, a movement.
Inspired by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the collective of which I’m a part – a group of deaf, disabled and non-disabled womxn, womxn of all ethnicities, all classes, and all sexualities – has created our Declarations of the Vagina, calling for rights for our bodies and universally distributed accurate information about menopause, sexual pleasure, menstrual cycles and more.
Declarations of the Vagina
By the Where’s My Vagina? Collective
Article 1 There is no wrong vagina. Like every person is different, every vagina is different.
Article 2 We have the right to choose, invent, evolve our own language to describe our own bodies and experiences. This language does not need to be gender-binary, anatomical or scientific. We have the right to connect with the feminine if we want to, to connect with the masculine if we want to, or to do away with these words altogether. Your vagina is whatever and wherever you choose it to be.
Article 3 We have the right not to know all the answers, but to feel welcome to begin talking about all of this.
Article 4 Everyone has the right to free, accessible information and education to promote respect and understanding of our rights, our bodies and our thoughts, through peaceful dialogue.
Article 5 Everyone should have knowledge and choice about the effects and risks of using and not using contraception. Contraception should be available free to all who choose to use it.
Article 6 No womxn or girl should feel like their bleed should be hidden for fear of shame, ignorance, or embarrassment. Knowledge and understanding of the gifts or our cycles and how to harness their wisdom and power should be taught to men and womxn alike from childhood, so womxn may live in a world that reflects and honours their divine working. NO blood shall appear as blue in any adverts henceforth.
Article 7 The menstrual cycle should be respected for its significance and spiritual aspect in a woman’s life.
Article 8 Pubic hair: what you do with it should be a personal choice free from fashion, religion or dogma. Variety is the spice of life and no choice should incur judgment.
Article 9 Childbirth should be safe and informed. After the child is born, the aftercare of the mother is as vital as it is for the child.
Article 10 We have the right to hold government and policy-makers accountable to protect our freedom and rights, so that we don’t have to feel exhaustion and defeat. And remember we have the right to give ourselves grace because we will have exhaustion and feelings of defeat.
Article 11 There is mutilation enacted upon the vagina around the world daily. Whether it is rape as a war tactic, sexual violence or FGM, we must act as a global community and seek ways to support one another to bring an end to these atrocities.
Article 12 We have the right to continue as a woman after the menopause. Women do not cease to exist as sexual beings, as women, as potent people. We do not disappear. We are here.
Article 13 We have the right to dream. To be empowered to act to achieve those dreams, without discrimination or barriers. If you put a glass ceiling above us, we will smash it.
Article 14 There should be as many vaginas as there are penises on executive boards and senior-management teams in all industries. We are 51% of the population.
Article 15 We have the right to fair and open recruitment, and to be paid precisely the same as our male counterparts.
Article 16 Everyone who bleeds should have access to affordable sanitary products suitable to their individual needs.
Article 17 We have the right to have children or not have children and the right not to be judged or discriminated on this choice.
Article 18 All vaginas have the right to have full knowledge and choice of what goes into and near them, whether it be vegetable, animal or mineral. Your vagina has the right to be in a relationship or not be in a relationship. Your vagina is your own corner shop, NOT an international chain. You choose the opening hours. “No” means “no”.
Article 19 Women’s suffrage must be protected where it is granted and implemented where it is not. Without the right to vote, we cannot be respected as citizens, women, or human beings. Decisions that affect women should not be made by all-male or male-dominated groups, panels or individuals. Filibustering should never be possible, where one man can prevent creating justice for so many women.
Article 20 We have a right to reframe our vaginas as sites of revelation and curiosity, rather than as sites of problems and burdens.
Article 21 Feminism and the fight for equality is not a white middle- class movement. Feminism and the fight for equality is a movement for black people and people of colour. It’s a movement for deaf and disabled people and learning-disabled people and neurodivergent people and LGBTQI+ people and working-class people. It’s a movement for people of all classes, all backgrounds, all nationalities, all ethnicities, genders, experiences. If the fight for equality excludes anyone, it is no longer a fight for equality.
Article 22 Every woman and young woman has the right to enjoy sex.
Article 23 Masturbate.
Article 24 Girls should have the same access of opportunity and education as boys.
Article 25 We have the right to be held and to hold.
Article 26 We have the right to live free of harassment, intimidation or fear, and to feel safe at home, in the workplace, in public spaces, wherever we are in the world.
Article 27 Intergenerational dialogue is essential to the health and happiness of our vaginas.
Article 28 Never, ever apologise for who you are.
Article 29 We have a right to keep adding to these declarations. Because no cycle is the same, because we are all unique. Because this is enormous and, let’s be honest, we have only had a few gatherings to come up with this. Are they the right declarations? What have we missed? What else do we need? We need your thoughts and ideas. This is just the beginning.
Who we are
- Jenny Sealey is artistic director and CEO of Graeae. She has pioneered a new theatrical language, coining the term “aesthetics of access” – the creative integration of sign language and audio description within performance
- Graeae is a force for change in world-class theatre, breaking down barriers, challenging preconceptions and boldly placing deaf and disabled artists centre stage; graeae.org
- Where’s my vagina? is an open-access collective, which means anyone is welcome to join. Look out for new digital projects 1 Minute with Auntie Vulva and Generation V, launching in January 2021; wmv.org.uk
Featured image, Roberta Zuric. Headshot, Alison Baskerville